IELTS Writing Sample
Genetically Modified Crops
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Biotechnology companies all over the world are developing different types of genetically modified (GM) crops. However, not enough is known about these crops on our health and the environment. Interfering with nature in this way should be prohibited. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
How many words? How long?One Possible Solution: (Nothing is perfect! Please take this as an example only!)
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Recently, it has become an extremely controversial issue around the world that genetically modified crops have many drawbacks whose serious consequences on human health and the environment are not thoroughly understood in spite of its improvement to the increased volume of food. In this paper, I am going to analyse the advantages and disadvantages of genetically modified food.
First and foremost, it is, perhaps, the case that genetically modified food is a good way to produce huge amount of food in a short time period and with less money.Equally important, people can cultivate this type of food in areas where it is difficult to grow because of low soil quality and lack of source of water for irrigation. It is certainly true that genetic modification is a good way to produce many types of seeds that have higher resistance to many well-known food diseases.
In spite of these benefits, there are a significantly high number of disadvantages related to genetically modified food. Perhaps one of the most obvious points is that it is causing more diseases to human being. Moreover, the organic food has more nutritive value than genetically modified food like vitamins and minerals.It seems to be clear that the genetically modified food may contribute to the pollution and produce many types of unknown seeds.
In conclusion, it is not doubtful that genetically modified food has both advantages and disadvantages. Some people emphasize the benefits of GM foods, while others are focused more on the negative side. To put it a different way, provided that the government address the magnitude of this massive issue and its underlying the causes, they can make a significant difference.
This writing is found under the following category(ies):
Agree or Disagree
This critique is meant for the writing from merkhan. This writing task has been reviewed and partially corrected. Please revert to the original IELTS writing before correction to understand this critique!
You were not able to achieve the task because you didn't say where you stand whether you agree or disagree with the statement "Interfering with nature in this way should be prohibited" in the requirement.
Vocabulary is quite good but you need to put more effort into improving it. There were many words/phrases you used incorrectly.
+COHERENCE AND COHESION
Paragraphs are quite organised even though you used some contradicting ideas in improper places.
+GRAMMATICAL RANGE AND ACCURACY
Compare to the original writing.
+ You are adding too many stop words. Just use simple but effective sentences.
+ You are contradicting yourself: "... extremely controversial issue ... that genetically modified food has many benefit and drawback"
> How come a controversial issue is about having both benefits and drawbacks?
+ You tried to use linking phrases such as "therefore" but it was not properly used since it doesn't make sense. "it has become an extremely controversial issue ... Therefore, for the purposes of this essay, I shall confine"
+ Incorrect "in short period"
+ incomplete phrase: "and less money". In that context, you should use "and with less money"
+ "because bad soil quality" -> "because of bad soil quality"
+ Wrong in the meaning "genetically modified food is a good way to produce many types of seeds"
+ "disadvantages" is countable -> Wrong "a great deal of disadvantages"
+ 2 errors in this phrase "it is cause many disease among the people"
> which one is the main verb? "is" or "cause"?
> "many diseases"
+ "What is more" is for spoken english. It's not suitable for academic writing.
+ The third paragraph was about the cons of GM food. Why did you put this sentence there "the organic food has more nutritive value"?
+ You don't have any supporting examples for this statement "genetically modified food may contribute pollution and produce many types of unknown seeds".
+ "however" was not used properly here "In conclusion, however, it is not doubtful that"
For a long time there has been concern about the quality of the food we eat because of additives and contaminants. Recently genetically modified (GM) food has become more common, causing concern. Is this concern justified or not?
People are getting more and more concerned about the quality of food they eat. The rich and the famous have already switched to organic foods. Such foods are costly and nutritious. Unfortunately, few people can afford them. Those who cannot afford to buy organic foods are also making a conscious effort to choose foods wisely. They refuse to buy foods containing additives and preservatives. Some of them are also against genetically modified foods. They are worried that GM foods might cause diseases like cancer. However, till date, we haven’t got anything to prove that GM foods cause cancer.
GM foods have been around for over 20 years. Contrary to popular belief these foods have not been linked to cancer or another disease. There have been several studies, but none managed to prove that GM crops cause cancer.
Organic foods are certainly healthier than GM foods, but their affordability is an issue. Organic foods don’t contain pesticides. Since pesticides are not used, their yield per hectare is low. Because of these reasons organic foods are way beyond the reach of common man. By contrast GM foods are cheaper. GM plants are resistant to droughts, floods and pests. They can be grown using very little water. Also, they can resist pests. They provide better yields and hence prices are low.
Over the last few decades, there has been a dramatic increase in world population. The world population is expected to reach 8 billion within the next few years. When there is an increase in population, the need for food also increases. In such a scenario, the only practical solution is to grow more GM foods. Unless our scientists find a healthier and cheaper option, GM foods are here to stay.
To conclude, people have the freedom to decide what they should eat. If they are particularly concerned about GM foods, they don’t have to eat such foods. However, in my opinion, these fears are baseless. Many people simply overlook the major benefits of GM foods and instead focus on their unproven negative effects.
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